CareGiver Guide

You can't care for another until you care for yourself…first!

The relationship of being, doing, and having: Day 3

As Care Givers we do things for the person we are caring for with the expectation that our actions will make a difference. Usually we are not conscious of the expectation we have for what we are doing. Yet, this expectation shapes what we do.

Before taking action, before ‘doing’, we need to be aware of who we are ‘being’ as a Care Giver. Are we being a healer? Are we being a servant? Are we being a manager? Are we being a companion? Are we being a friend?

For example, if we are being a Care Giver as a healer, there is an expectation that what we do will result in healing the person we are caring for. If we are being a manager, there is an expectation that what we do will control the environment.

How we are being as a Care Giver colors how we do the tasks of care giving. How we are being can cause us to have an attachment to the results of what we do. We do what we do to in order to change something.

The attitudes we have which we bring to care giving also shape how we do what we are doing. If we have an attitude of compassion, we can ‘suffer with’ ( the literal meaning of compassion) the person we are caring for. If we have an attitude of impatience, we will find it difficult to take the time necessary to complete the tasks of care giving.

As Care Givers, how we are being and the attitudes we have, will determine how we do the tasks of care giving.

Thus, it is important for Care Givers to become conscious of how they are ‘being’ and the attitudes they are ‘having’ as they go about ‘doing’ the tasks of care giving.

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